ポジティブの限界!横浜市西区岡野の女性専用ボクシングジム。

●ポジティブの限界!横浜市西区岡野の女性専用ボクシングジム。

 

こんにちは!

横浜駅徒歩12分女性専用ボクシングジム「GOKIGENボクシングジム」会長の清水です。

「ご機嫌なんて、必要ない!」「ただただ、勝てれば良い。」そう心の底から思っていました。「とにかく、とにかく、結果が欲しい。」悪魔に憑りつかれたかのごとく願っていた11年前の僕です。当時、地元北海道で現役のアマチュアボクサーだった僕は、負けが続き、心が削れていくような状態でした。その理由はわかっていました。極度のあがり症で、本番にとにかく弱い、練習だと技術でも体力でも上回れる相手にも、試合になるとあっさり負けてしまう自分に、情けなく、情けなく、情けなく。。。

だけど、ぼくは信じていました。「こんなに負け続けるのは、神様が与えてくれたチャンスだ。こんなに辛い思いをさせるのは、神様から選ばれているからだ。ぼくは必ずチャンピオンになるんだ。いや、なるようにすでに選ばれているんだ。」と、自分に言い聞かせるように、信じていました。

他人の慰めにも、期待にも、怒りにも、目を向けることを辞めました。チャンピオンになるストーリーを生きているんだと繰り返し信じました。負け続け、立ち直れなくなりそうなほど打ちのめされると、人間って前向きになるもんなんですね(笑)

ただ、その「信じた想い」もあっさり裏切られました。高校生最後の花形であるインターハイという全国の高校生ボクサーが集う大会。その大会の北海道予選。1回戦、いつも通り身体が極度の緊張でガタガタと震え、体温は上がらない。苦し紛れの技術で辛勝。

2回戦、学年1個下の高校2年生のボクサー。渡部選手という選手で、彼は今も現役ボクサーで日本ランキングに名を連ねた時期もあり、日本チャンピオンの座を狙っています。今では仲も良く、トレーニングサポートやメンタルトレーニングサポートなども行っています。

その渡部選手に、まさかの判定負け。3ラウンドを終え、レフェリーに握られた手が上がらなかった時に、なんだか糸が切れたような思いでした。涙も出ませんでした。いつもは選手仲間や応援してくれる方に挨拶に行ったりとするのですが、その日は、誰とも話さず、誰とも会わず、試合会場を後にしました。「もう、何も考えられない。」悲しみも情けなさも口惜しさも、感じない。ただただ、「終わってしまった。」と。

自宅の最寄駅に到着しても、家に帰れない。誰とも会いたくない。帰り道から少し外れた場所にある誰もいない公園のベンチに座り、ただただぼーっとしました。信じて応援してくれている人の顔が浮かんできます。ボクシングは本当に辛い。なんでこんな想いを俺はしているんだ。俺には神様がついてるんじゃないのか。神様に憎しみすら湧いてくる。ベンチから立ち上がり、家に帰るまで何時間経っただろう。この負けを経て、僕は自分の「気持ち」に目を向け始めるキッカケを得ました。

そしてどんな困難があろうと「これは自分が成長するために必要な困難だ!」と自分に言い聞かせていた、いわゆる「ポジティブシンキングの限界」を突き付けられた瞬間でもありました。

「女性専用GOKIGENボクシングジム」が完成する11年前の出来事です。

 

次回に続く。。。

 

 

 

本日もお読み下さりありがとうございました!

 

 

**********

 

☆横浜駅から徒歩12分、女性のためのボクシングジム☆

HP https://boxing.go-kigen.jp/

フェイスブック https://www.facebook.com/gokigenboxing/?modal=admin_todo_tour

LINE@→https://line.me/R/ti/p/%40gokigen.boxing

ID→@gokigen.boxing(@をお忘れなく♡)

**********

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